Rising To Meet Conflict

The weekend just gone, I found myself in two situations that pushed me way out of my comfort zone. The powerful duo of the full moon Eclipse in Scorpio and Mercury in retrograde hit me like a tonne of bricks this time around, forcing me to meet myself and things I’d shyed away from in the cold and clear light of day.

In the comedown from the astrological overhaul of the weekend, I find myself feeling even more proud and solid in myself than I have done before.

Previously in my life, I have side stepped conflict in every way possible. By profusely difusing the situation, fauning over the person who is challenging me, or my most habitual mask of all, people pleasing like there’s no tomorrow. Not one part of me could bare facing conflict. Because conflict to my inner child driven mind meant there were only two possible outcomes – the person would be disappointed in me and hate me forever, or worse, would up sticks and leave and our relationship would never repair ever again. Looking at it now, that is a pretty dramatic way of viewing things. But that’s the thought process my brain had created in an attempt to protect myself and emotionally ‘survive’.

As I have begun my own journey of self-discovery, I have realised that occasional healthy conflict is a totally necessary part of life. We are all individual souls working out what this crazy life is in our human bodies, with different wants and needs. What’s more, we all communicate in different ways. So of course we will occasionally clash as we navigate together! I wouldn’t have it any other way. Our differences weave us into the collective tapestry of existence. Isn’t life here meant to be a journey of learning and evolving? In relationship, this then means that conflicting ideas once communicated and understood lead to mutual growth and a deeper coming together in the relationship. Conflict, in healthy doses, can be one of the best ways to expand and open the heart to another’s world.

However, my nervous system still finds myself running away from it. I also don’t think I’m alone in this. Many of us have never been taught how to compassionately rise in the face of conflict. Reprogramming a way of being takes time and patience. With dedicated practice, it does get easier. But it doesn’t make the process any less scary.

After the weekend just gone, I am proud of myself. My increased awareness in myself that has been cultivated from practicing Yoga and meditation allowed me to sit with the discomfort of the conflict I was met with. Although it felt like my emotional body was squirming in my seat, my conscious self stayed present and measured, with the ability to empathise with the other and where they are coming from. It allowed me to see the truth in their own emotions, as well as my own. I now see that the conflict has allowed myself and the others involved to release a little more into inner peace, as we got to share what was in our hearts.

Do you struggle with conflict? What’s your bodily response when being challenged by another? I would love to hear your thoughts as we support each other in this conversation.