Growth is uncomfortable. Not just for you, but for the people around you too. You are breaking through habits and behaviour patterns that you may have been stuck in for most of your life. Growing pains is definitely a thing. This discomfort can not only be felt by yourself, but also the people around you, especially if they aren’t quite ready to grow themselves yet. As you begin to open up your heart and shine your light, there will inevitably be people that don’t quite get it. I have been told by people that I am ‘too happy’ and my positivity is overwhelming. That I can sometimes make people uncomfortable with my happiness. And I TOTALLY get it. When I was going through the most painful points of my awakening, I would look at peoples joy and feel uncomfortable. I would even go as far to say that sometimes I felt loathing for the person experiencing happiness. I would sit and think ‘How dare they have a full life, when I am over here feeling depressed and alone’. It’s easy to move into that thought and feeling, especially when everything else in life feels so overwhelming.
But then I began to get curious. Why am I feeling like this? Why can I not see someone else’s happiness and be inspired by it myself? I began to move towards the discomfort with a want to understand why I felt like this. Because I knew deep down that the light of others shone all over where I hadn’t worked on yet. The places that I hadn’t even dared to go within myself. The more I leant into this the more I wanted to go there too, and have a little bit of what they were having. I wanted to feel their happiness, so I began to work to feel it too. Because happiness, love, peace – all of the things we are taught are external – are in fact an inside job.
When I was a child, I was told by someone that they didn’t like me because I was too happy all the time. But now I understand and I feel so sorry for that person, because the reason they wanted to point it out to me was because they weren’t happy themselves. They wanted to bring me down to make themselves feel better, because trying to control others rather than look at the own emotions seemed like an easier thing to do. I wish I had known that then, so I could have given that person a hug.
If someone tells you that you should stop being happy, calm, colourful, excited (insert positive emotion or character trait here) to make them feel better, know that it is their insecurities and you should keep on shining. With compassion, of course. If someone is genuinely depressed then gloating about your great life is never considerate. But with your light, know you have it in you to meet them where they are with an open, loving heart. With understanding and a belief that they can shine too. And soon enough, they will be joining you in the sky to experience all the beauty that life has to offer.