A Love Letter To My Inner Child.
I have been getting quite emotional thinking about this month and writing this blog post. It feels incredibly poignant for me on a physical, emotional and spiritual level. This month, I graduate from the Institute of Integrative Nutrition as a certified IIN Health Coach. To look back on the last year and see how far I have come on my on journey, let alone watching the journey of my business, is amazing and something I am incredibly proud of.
Anyone who has been following my story and the journey of CAL will probably know about my spiritual awakening in 2019. On October 27th of that year, I became aware of my body and what I was feeling for the first time in 21 years of being on the planet. Up until that point I had been in fight or flight mode. A constant state of chronic anxiety was the dominant emotion in my body, stirred up by a need to be liked, a need to be perfect, a need to be loved. I mistook this feeling of anxiety for a myriad of feelings – one of which was love. It’s mad to look back think about what I thought love was, and to mirror it against how my heart is opening up now to a softer, quieter melody. The best way to describe my own healing journey was learning how to embody my life through self love on ALL levels. I quickly realised that most things I did in my life and how I showed up for them was a way to show myself whether I loved and respected myself or not. The way I thought, the way I ate, the way I spoke, the way I moved, the way I responded to others, the activities I engaged in, the relationships I allowed myself to be a part of – it was all a mirror or medicine for me. Everything that I noticed about myself came down to conditioned responses that I had adopted through childhood and my adolescent years. These responses were primarily dictated by my closest relationships. My romantic relationships in particular hugely affected me and my view of myself. I was constantly responding from a place of my wounded inner child – craving love, safety and acceptance. The only person who I really needed those things from was myself.
I knew I wanted my life to one that I had crafted myself, one that was intentional and honest. One that I loved. I didn’t want the view I had of myself and the rest of the world to be based on conditioned responses that I had latched on to from society and my egoic mind. I have used (and still use) many healing modalities to help me heal and connect with my body – from owning my femininity through dance and my moon cycle to crafting a nutritious diet that works for me. From devoting my life to the spiritual path of yoga and giving myself a daily meditation practice, to journal prompts and spending time in nature. I began to hold myself accountable for my whole life – thoughts, feelings, emotions and actions. The beauty about learning at IIN was that I covered all of these areas and more throughout my training. This gives me a really strong foundation in supporting my clients in their transformational journey. And what I am so proud of is that I have lived it too, not just learnt about it. I understand how it feels to be in a place where you are lost, unsure and disconnected from the truth of myself. And I have used all of the things I talk about to heal myself. I am so thrilled that I am now stepping into a space where I can help others do the same. And, what’s more, I can’t wait to learn from and with my clients.
In late 2020 before I signed up for IIN, I made the decision to change my business name from Calm Within Yoga to Compassionate Awakened Living. I couldn’t put my finger on why I needed to change it, I just knew deep down that although yoga is my first love, it wouldn’t be all I did with my life. Now here we are in 2022 and I understand why I was being guided to make that change.
When I was in the darkest moments of my healing journey, swinging between severe anxiety and depression with horrifically intrusive thoughts, I wrote a poem to my inner child in a journal. I wrote:
Sweet little child, just aged 9,
Little do you know that you will be fine,
You don’t need to win over the boys at school,
Having a boyfriend doesn’t make you cool,
And you don’t have to be like all of the other girls,
Kindness means more than diamonds or pearls,
You know that you’re different, don’t you sweet child,
But your difference is stunning, live your true wild,
Learn from each day, but don’t you fret,
The world has more in store for you yet.
Now I’m holding tight onto the hand of my inner child as I step forward to become a leader in this space. And I am so proud of her. Thank you, inner child, for guiding me through the lessons that allowed me to become the woman that I am today. We make the best team.
Compassionate Awakened Coaching – Embody Your Life, Awaken Your Soul
I am delighted to announce that this month I am launching Compassionate Awakened Coaching – On demand coaching for young women between the ages of 16 & 25. I am so passionate about helping our next generation of women realise the beauty and power that they hold within themselves. What everyone has the capacity to achieve if they look within and reconnect with their true nature is astounding. As a coach I will be a guide on the side, helping clients through their own transformation journey, giving tools, tips & support where appropriate. But most importantly, I will give the space to help clients discover that all they ever needed is within them. I provide an ‘On demand’ coaching structure. It was really important to me that young women had access to one on one coaching in a way that worked with their busy and ever evolving lives. This means that after an Awakening Call and two hour coaching sessions via Zoom, how you are coached by me is down to you – which makes the coaching relationship much more tailored, individual and exciting.
I have officially launched the Compassionate Awakened Coaching page on my website, so please head over there to dive deeper into my story, what a coach is and the structure of how I coach. I am also offering FREE half hour Awakening Calls to allow us to explore what our coaching partnership would be like, so if you are interested then please do not hesitate to drop me a message via the contact page and I can book you in. I am also offering talks in Sixth Forms for young women, encouraging them to love themselves on all levels and explain a little further what I do. If you would like me to come and chat with your school, then I am more than happy to discuss further. Please get in touch via the contact page.
Thank you for taking the time to read this post today and witness my story. I am forever grateful for this journey.
With Love, Light & Best Wishes,