Lower your expectations, not your standards.

This blog post was going to be about natural immune system boosters. But last night I learnt a lesson, and this title popped into my head. Immune system boosters can wait for another week. I believe the universe wanted me to write about something different today.

I had a plan to write my blog post last night so it would be published on a Friday, like most of my blog posts are. I had planned the topic, the photo, the insta post alongside, the whole concept was ready to go. I had been working for my agent in front of a screen all day with a very hectic final couple of hours. So when I got to 6PM, the time I had reserved for post writing, I felt pooped. I didn’t want to write a blog post. I didn’t want to do ANYTHING. Old, conditioned me told me I must do it, I must write it, I have to stick to what I said I’d do. I had this EXPECTATION of myself, and I must rise to it. Because as someone who runs a business that helps people step into their power, I had to lead by example. But as I got my notes ready, the idea kept becoming less and less appealing. I still had to cook dinner after I had finished writing. I wanted to cross reference my IIN notes with my own knowledge, and that would take time. By the time I actually got to rest it would be late and I’d just want to sleep. Then TRUE me stepped in. The voice that told me what would really be leading by example is waiting till this work felt heart centred. Resting and nourishing my body. Stepping away from screens. Putting MYSELF first, like I encourage all of my clients to do. Filling up my cup so it overflows enough to give back out. So I decided to put everything to one side and switch off for the evening. Then the disappointment in myself kicked in. The feeling that I hadn’t reached the expectation that I had set for myself. But what soothed that was a loving feeling that crept in from the depths of who I am that said ‘You are enough’. And this morning, the wisdom came theough of’ Lower your expectations, not your standards’

I want you all to know that your expectations are TOTALLY different to your standards. It’s so important to know what your standards are. What you will and won’t accept in your life. Knowing the standard of living that you want and saying yes to it. There’s a certain standard of relationship (romantic or plutonic) that we all have in mind, in the way that we show up and the way we want to be treated. We can set a standard for what food we will and won’t put into our body. Whenever I complete any work or teach a class, I know that I want to show up and do it to a certain standard. It helps me reach, it helps me strive for more. It helps me evolve.

Now, if you have EXPECTATIONS of someone or something reaching your standards all the time, it is totally unrealistic. It just sets you up for disappointment. If you expect something of someone, it means you believe they SHOULD do it. And whether you believe something should be done or not, that is totally subjective in someone elses world. Because we are souls living this human experience, learning as we go. No one can show up as a perfect image of your standards all the time. What you expect might not be what you see, it could be wildly different. But it may exceed your standards in a way you never thought possible. How was I to know on Monday when I planned my post that on Friday I wouldn’t feel like writing it? I decided that the standard of self care I wanted to hold for myself was way more important than the expectation of me getting a blog post out bang on time. And I knew that by taking an evening for me, my standard of blog post would be much better if written the following day.

Dropping expectations allows for the eb and flow of life. It allows for the welcoming in of all the good things, without putting yourself in a straight jacket and feeling guilty when life shows up with other plans. Standards keep your sights high, allowing you to remember your worth and what you want to create.

So, last night at half 6 I put my phone to one side. I had a beautifully nourishing plant based feast and then a bath with Himalayan salt, candles, essential oils and yummy treats. I took time for self massage, to get to know my body. And I listened to a womb healing and initiation meditation before snuggling up in bed with my dogs. And that evening, let me tell you was WAY better than the expectation I originally had.

I hope this post inspired you to let yourself off the hook. To lower your expectations and move fluidly with the wave of your emotions and your life, whilst keeping your standards high. You deserve the world đź’š

Have you got any thoughts on this post? Keep the conversation going in the comments. Whether we agree or disagree, I’d love to hear it. Points of view keep life interesting.

With Love, Light & Best Wishes,

Ciara X

My Plant based feast – Veg and chickpeas roasted with olive oil, smoked paprika, ground coriander and sweet cinnamon, couscous and sunflower seeds. Olives. Medjool dates, nuts and Booja Booja sozzled rum choc truffles for afters. All washed down with a glass of kombucha. In a wine glass. Of course.

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